The Beans (Spilled) and a Giveaway

First, I should tell you guys that I'm giving away a pack of cards at Funky Finds.  The pack contains five cards, each with a different painting, signed by yours truly. 

But wait.... what's that in the background.  Look closely.  Squint.  Turn your head side-ways.  You might see a glimpse of what I've been up to.   Nine paintings.  Months in the making.  Finished yesterday.  Soon to be boxed up and sent to Japan.  What's in Japan, you ask?  Well, you can read about that in Kathy Miller's blog.  Are we getting warmer?  Kathy Miller (of Michael Miller fabrics)  has been traipsing all over Asia, meeting with Fabric mills.  Japan, she says, has the best.  So there you have it (the spilled beans that is.) 

As a life long sewer, and lover of beautiful fabric, I am ecstatic about having my paintings on fabric.  As a painter I have often been inspired by fabric (I've already confessed my blubbering adoration for Kaffe Fassette.)  So I feel like this is coming full circle for me.

In celebration of my announcement  I'm going to give away a pack of cards here too.  but unlike Jessica's  giveaway, I'm making you work for it.  Share something embarrassing your kid has said.  You know, like when I was at the grocery store and Lily asked in her loudest little voice, "mom, why does that lady have a beard."  If you don't have a kid, use a friend's.

I'll give another example for your amusement.   I was on bed rest after finishing up in-vitro.  We were new in the neighborhood.  A neighbor came to the door. 

neighbor, "can I talk to your mom."

Lily, "She's in bed making a baby."

Neighbor, confused, "where's your dad?"

Lily, "He's upstairs with my mom."

Dave had to rush downstairs and straighten that out.

That's it then.  Ready set go.  {Wow!  Thanks for all your funny stories.  We have a winner--my next post}

Comments

[kira]

Well, here goes ... and am I first? :) My son was 4 years old & we use the correct terms for things (like the DR. told us to). My husband took my son with him to visit some elderly couple in the ward and while there my son was playing and having a good ol' time. All of a sudden he ran over to my DH and looked very distressed. My husband asked him what was wrong and he looked RIGHT at the elderly couple and said, "My P****s is hard & it hurts." The elderly couple looked so embarressed (which I'm told was nothing next to the look on my husband's face) and they quickly left afterwards.

[kira]

Congratulations by the way!!! I can't wait to get my hands on some! :)

[Laurie]

oh. WOW. L A U R A !!! I guessed it days ago when you were prantzing around quiltmarket with the big wigs! yay...i'm so happie for you, girl! I cannot wait to get my hands on your beautiful flowery fabric goodness....I'm sure your sweet momma is so proud of you, as your dear dad would be, too. Gorgeous prints/cards of your paintings, too.....as for an embarassing kid story, well, um...kids will be kids so i can't honestly say my kids embarase me, but the other day we were out for a walk in the park, and this really old car pulls up (all rusty and lowered with mags, and no muffler) and my kids say out loud: "hey, mom, look at that old junky car, who would ever want to have one like that?!" and i whisper quietly to them with pursed lips, "SHHH, honey, i'll tell you later." and she insists with this: "well it looks so junky and all jacked up!" out of the mouth of babes. LOL~

[Valarie]

Congrats! Can't wait to see the fabric!

I am stealing this story from my sister...she was in a dressing room with my 3 year old niece one day, and my niece said in her loudest voice "Mommy, you have a lot of fat!" My sister was mortified of course. The next week they went shopping again, and my sister reminded my niece not to talk about her fat in the dressing room. As my sister was trying on pants, my niece this time belted out "You really need to shave mom!" My sister said "Amanda, what did I say?!" My niece replied, still loudly, "What? You just said not to talk about your fat!" Gotta love 'em, huh?

[Jackie]

Congratulations! I so look forward to seeing (and sewing with) your fabric! I share your admiration of Kaffe Fassette and was lucky enough to take one of his workshops a few years ago - genius, that man.

My son is just barely speaking full sentences so I'll share one that I witnessed. A neighbor's son loves the Toy Story movie and got a "Woody" doll for his birthday. He ran up to another neighbor at our block party and said "Hi! I have a Woody!" I love kids!

[Heather Bailey]

Yay, the beans are spilled! That means that I can spill a few of your beans too over at my place : )

[Sandi Henderson]

It's about time I tell ya. I have been waiting and waiting for the spilling of the beans! Yay! I have company at MM!

Sandi

[Cary]

Wow! Your work is absolutely amazing!!!!

As for an embarrassing moment, it happened in a public restroom. My daughter was just recently potty trained and was in the stall with me. Another lady was in the next stall. My daughter insisted on reacting to every single noise made in the next stall!!! She would say, "OH!"....."Yeahhhh!!!!" and clap and say "Uh, she pooped!" and clap and say "Good girl!" The whole time, I'm whispering as loud as I can "SHUT-UP!!!!!!" My daughter had no clue that I was bothered by it and was reacting all the way out of there. I'm sure it was more embarrassing for the lady if she figured out what was going on. After that I made sure the stalls next to us were empty!

[Bess]

Your paintings are beautiful.

As for the embarrassing story...A few years back my husband and I and our very chatty 3 year old were renting a house that was up for sale. One day when a realtor was bringing through a client to look at the house my daughter decided to give them the tour. First stop were the bedrooms, second stop was the living room where she proudly pointed to the couch and said "that is where my daddy sleeps!" It was true. I was pregnant and could not sleep with him in the bed but I didn't really have a chance to explain and there was some very awkward laughter.

[Debbie, Pennsylvania]

Love your work...such beautiful paintings. My story: My son was about 2 when the song "Who Let the Dogs Out" was a big hit. My son and my daughter are 11 years apart so at that time she was 13 and loved to encourage him to say or do things at inappropriate times to get a laugh. Well, one day my husband, myself and our 2 kids were in a very uptight, very quiet antique shop (you know the kind where you tell your kids not to breathe on anything for fear of being banned from the shop for life.) Well, getting back to the hit song: my son was in his stroller and we asked our daughter to stand with him while we looked around. We were upstairs when suddenly we heard my son start singing "Who let the dogs out...woot, woot." The next verse, which I'm sure to this day our daughter told him to say, was "Who let my butt-crack out..woot, woot."

My husband and I were laughing histerically since WE have a sense of humor. We quickly ran down before the next verse. We made our way to the front counter and let me tell you, I have never met anyone so uptight in my life. The shop owner's stare could have stopped traffic or burn a hole thru a brick wall.

As we were leaving (I couldn't help myself) I had to say "Get a sense of humor, lady." Needless to say we never visited that shop again....her stare told us we were banned for life.

[Kim (McClellan) Mercer]

That is really exciting about the fabric! I can't wait to see it.

Embarrassing story--I'm another one who doesn't get too embarrassed by my kids--although my daughter does talk incredibly loud everywhere and all the time, so we've had the "This is so boring. I want to go home" in the middle of church loud enough for just about everyone to hear, or comments about how stinky someone's breath is or public restrooms. One that I found pretty funny, although I worried about what the people listening thought our bathroom must look like--we were in the church bathroom and as soon as we walked in the stall, she exclaims, "Ooh, inside the potty is very clean! It's beautiful!!!" I hope people don't think we don't clean our toilets--we really do!

[Courtney]

I've been admiring your paintings from afar too long. And so, I delurk. :-)

Embarrassing moment:
My three year old, while at a check-out, saw a fairly large woman behind us who was leaning over her cart. This action did not do her rear-end area a bit of good. In fact, for the first time, my sweet daughter became concerned by the size of this woman's behind and continued to try and discuss it with me, confused, concerned, and with the hand gestures (arms open wide). I had the most difficult time not laughing at my daughter, trying to pay, and keeping a hand over her innocent little mouth.

[emily]

Yeah! Spilled Beans.

I love how you keep us in suspense. :) -Still waiting for pics of that gorgeous chair, btw.-

You have some amusing Moms that read your blog. These stories are hillarious! Good luck picking one.
****************
A few weeks ago, I took my baby to lunch, just the two of us. She is going through that super fun stage where she is absorbing as much information as she can every day. She points to things and then looks at me with her head cocked to one side. That's my cue to tell her what it is, and then she repeats the word... over and over and over again. At lunch, she picked up my fork. And my conditioned response was to say, "Fork."

"Fruck." she replied.
"Fruck. FRUCK. FRUCK!" My baby was cursing at me in triplicate...and the quiet restaurant goers thought it was hillarious. Thank goodness.
**********

On another subject, when you volunteered for The Mother's Day Project, how long did it take for them to get back to you? I signed up via email, but haven't heard from them. Wondering if I should send another email.

[Molly]

Alrighty: Recently at church during Children's Time at the front of the entire congregation, the pastor asked if the kids had ever heard a bell. My daughter raised her hand high and said, "My mom has an alarm clock, but she does NOT get up when it goes off."

Congratulations!

[Kelly beeson]

I really want the cards, Laura.

I have two entries, since maybe you won't find one funny enough to win, but for sure you will find the other one hilarious.

First, when Ross was a baby my Mom the speech therapist taught him to talk WAY too early. At first it was fun because he was like a parrot and we could show off his skillz. But then he actually started to understand what he was saying, and who knew 13 month olds could have such a biting, dry wit? I got up to lead the music in Sacrament meeting one Sunday, and Ross stood up on the back row and yelled "HEEEEEY, BAAAAABY!" like he was the lonely construction worker and I was hot supermodel walking by his work site.

My brother R is mentally handicapped. Maybe my great-grandparents were a little bit, too, because they named their son EDSIL, like the car. We would go to my Grandma's house to visit and R would run outside into the south pasture and yell, "Hey, (word that means hole-in-ur-bum but starts with an A)" in greeting to uncle Edsil. If Edsil didn't hear (which he often didn't, he was a little deaf), Ryan would yell it over and over. It was pretty awesome.

[Angela]

Congrats on the fabric and on the lovely cards! Woo Hooo!

Embarassing story? My 2 yo daughter saw another woman breast feeding her baby and asked what she was doing. I explained that she was feeding her baby just like mommy used to do with her. She looked at the woman again, then at me, pulled down my shirt, looked at my breasts, looked back over at the woman feeding her little one and said "I don't think so". Talk about me turning very, very red. Ouch! We had a nice talk about pulling down Mommy's shirt in public after that.

[beth]

ok....just had to comment on this one..WOW, how do you pick just one......
My favorite is last year when my 3 year old son, decided he wanted the big woody with a hat for christmas, SO everytime anyone especially Santa asked him what he wanted he replied, "A BIG WOODY"..how do you explain that one??? And he was sooooo cute!

CONGRATULATIONS Laura, How come I always hear everything thru the grapevine????????

[Laura Gunn]

These are hilarious! Who knew woody dolls would cause us so much trouble. And now I know not to name my next child Edsil. I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one with stories like these.

I'll let this run until tomorrow night.

[margie r]

Upon her return from France (as a nanny) I visited with my daughter in Toronto. Her host family asked me if I would like a glass of wine. When I politely refused, Anne said "Oh yeah, Katie told us one drink and you fall asleep." Out of the mouths of children!

margie r

[kelly]

Laura, Melanie thinks she suckered YOU into coming.I can't wait to see you. Are you bringing your painting stuff? I'd love a painting.

[Mary]

Congrats on the new fabric line! How awesome!

[Melissa]

My nephew and I were visiting a neighbor, an older man. He happened to have bare feet with very yellow gross toe nails. My little nephew stared at his feet and said, "Gross! Whats wrong with your toes!"

[Faith W]

Laura,

Congratulations! I am so thrilled for you, what an accomplishment, sending best wishes and big smiles your way.

Now for my most recent example of motherly pride:

I was standing in a very long, very childless line at the downtown post office this Christmas with my three energy-crazed boys when my four year old, Henry, yelled "MOM! I NEED TO GO POTTY!" Well, I had already been waiting in the line for a good 25 minutes and was now just a few people back from the front of the line and so I quietly whispered, "Ok honey, can you wait just a couple of minutes? Mommy is almost done, ok?" To which he replied, "I CAN'T WAIT! MY POOPIES ARE COMING OUT! (small pause) RIGHT NOW! I FEEL THEM!!!!"

One of our finer moments, for sure ...

[Tiffany]

Congratulations, Laura! Can't wait to buy some of your fabric.

Here's my story...
I don't remember this, but my mother tells me that we were in a fast food drive-thru when I was about 3 years old, and as she was handing money to the cashier I asked, "Mommy, is that a boy or a girl?" She was mortified. She assures me I'll get it back times ten when I have kids of my own. I still wonder that about some people, but I've learned to keep my mouth shut until the person is gone!

[Lanne]

LOL @ all the stories. My mother dressed us in our sunday best and took us up to the hospital to visit my Aunt and Uncle - very proud..very new parents of my newborn cousin. Mum held us up to the window and let us look at the baby in the nursery...

Back we went to the room.. and everyone was cooing and ohhing. and .. foolishly they asked me (all of 5?) what I thought. I got up really close the baby's mother and said.. well.. It might be alright when they fix it. Your baby has an ugly squished face and a flat nose.

LOL - I dont think anyone saw the funny side - and I wasn't invited to the cousins wedding last weekend. Good thing I got a sense of humour!

[Joy Gross]

How about my grandson... he said can I come in while I was in the restroom.... he is 3... he comes in... (i am curling my hair) he says grandma you got a wiener? trying not to fall over laughing... I said no I do not.. he said you got a gina (vagina) with out the va.. hmm... yes I do... (scared he was going to ask to see it... but true to kids... he said ok... and left the room... I about peed my pants laughing when I told my son and dil.

[Nada]

my 3-yr old and i were in a public restroom when i started my period, and he began to freak out and yell "Mama! Your yoni is bleeding!! You need a band-aid..." over and over. He seriously thought I was hurt, poor baby...

[Ravenhill]

First a huge congratulations! You sure are going places! Your work is so brilliant it is going to be highly coveted fabrics.

My great aunt was visiting us and my son said and did something so embarassing. Our elderly vistitor had a very large boil on her nose. You couldn't miss it. My then 3 year old got right up onto her lap and picked at it asking "what is this big bump?"

[Beth]

I was seven months pregnant with my third child (Eliza Rose born 7 Jan 08) and down at the local shop with my eldest, 3 year old Matilda. For some reason, whilst lining up at the checkout Matilda felt compelled to tell the cashier that 'my mummy's bottom doesn't fit into our swing any more because it is HUGE'!! She said 'huge' so loud I swear everyone in the shop heard.

[Anna]

I was on a bus with my nephew and sister, he was about 5 at the time. He pointed to a rather large lady and said at the top of his voice "Aunty Anna, look how fat that lady is. She should be in the circus!!!". Mortified is not the word!

Congrats on your news! How exciting.

[Michelle]

Hi,

My lst grade son to his teacher, "My mommy has a boyfriend." Teacher, "Really?!!" Yeah, she has his picture on her bulletin board...his name is George Clooney."

Oy, not an easy one to live down I must say;)

Michelle

[Fuji Mama]

Congrats! I am so excited for you! My best friend's son was in the back seat of her car with his friend a couple of days ago and she and the friend's mother were in the front seat and she was driving them home from school. She overheard her son say to the other boy, "My daddy has a big penis, but I have a small penis. How big is your penis?"

[cc]

the best. just happened this past sunday. picture me at church chit chatting with my 6 year olds' sunday school teacher. He says to me, I have the funniest thing to tell you. Picture me getting hotter by the second. I respond, "uh-huh, what's that?". He says, that 2 weeks ago, while they prepare for the Easter season, he poses a question to his class of 25 little people. "What is Lent" he asks. My little one shoots her hand right up(usually fairly quiet, so he jumps at the chance to have her be a part of the scene). She answers - "the stuff in my Dad's belly button". I am half mortified and half can't believe how funny this is. No this isn't even the funniest part yet. He procedes to tell me the best part is that the other 24 kids lookk around and up to him to confirm, if this is, in fact, the right answer. He kindly pulls himself together and says, no, that Lent is NOT in fact the stuff in Madeline's Dad's belly button, but... and he gives them the real scoop. How bloomin' hilarious. Madeline still doesn't understand that this is so funny - she just wants to know how to spell "lint" properly now. What a good first grader!

[Liesl]

Oh, wonderful! Congratulations to you, and I can't wait to see the fabric!

[Lisa]

this is one my husband told me. he took our son to use the potty at a restaurant. he's only 2.5, so he's just learning and usually takes a while. anyway, someone came into the stall next to them and my son loudly exclaimed that "someone's pooping over there!" and then proceeded to talk about the guy's shoes. he asked daddy if he liked the man's shoes or if he liked his shoes more. my husband said he was never so glad to stay in the bathroom so much longer because he didn't want to chance having to look that guy in the eye.

[Michelle]

Max is 3 and keeps us laughing most days. He does come up with some doozies every once in awhile.

Max "Mom, do girls have a p*nis?"
Mom "No, Max."
Max "But girls have bums, right?"
Mom "Yes, Max."
Max "Sooooo.....girls can only poop and not pee!"

And a little more of Max's anatomy logic....

Max "When I turn into a girl, I will not pee the bed anymore."
Mom "Huh???"
Max (exasperated that mom doesn't understand) "Because I won't have a p*nis anymore!"

[Jody]

I don't have kids, but a friend of mine recently told me about her daughter coming downstairs and saying - "Mommy! it's snowing in the house!"

She rushed upstairs to find her other daughter and her cousins jumping up and down on the bed having a pillow fight and millions of tiny white pieces of goose down pillow fluff flying through the air... aka snowing in the house :)

[Jeanie]

HG asked me recently in the Target checkout,(loudly) "mommy, is that a man or a woman."
I also wondered...tee hee

[Kathryn]

My son isn't talking yet, but thought I'd share my first embarrassing moment with him. We were shopping in Costco and he was fishing around in my purse to look for his goldfish snacks. I was wandering around pushing the cart when out of the corner of my eye I saw him waving around a couple of white "sticks". It took me a few moments to realize what it was, but when I did I was horrified to see he was pulling tampons out of the secret pocket in my purse and waving them around. So embarrassed.

[qwertytigger]

I have four kids and therefore plenty of stories but all those Woody tales remind me of an encounter with my own sweet naive Mom. Even if it disqualifies me, the story still begs to be told.

We were out shopping and saw a couple walking along together pushing a stroller. The man/husband/father/whatever-he-was carried the child's doll. Unfortunatly it dangled slightly near his nether regions.

My mother was recently introduced to Toy Story and in her love of all things western and cowboy-ish she instantly fell for the loveable Disney character. So of course when she noticed the doll, she pointed toward his crotch-level hand where it was located and said "Oh, you have a WOODY!"

He seemed understandably startled and said "I have?!"

She replied "Yes, there in your hand!"

To this day we still laugh about that man's expression of relief when he realized she was talking about the toy he carried.

She honestly didn't know that was slang.

I can't make this stuff up, people!

[Haley]

Embarrassing story...now my kids, yet, but while babysitting my cousin I took him to a water park. He was 6 at the time and love to swim, we are waiting in line to go down a big slide when a man walks up who is missing a leg. My cousin noticing this, asks the man, "Did you know you only have one leg?" The man being very kind looks down and says jokingly, "maybe I lost it on the last ride." Cousin- "No I think you are hiding it" prodeeds to get on the ground and look up INTO the mans swimming shorts and loudly proclaims, " See I found it, it's just alot smaller than you're other leg, but I think it might be broken!"

We still laugh about it, and he's 18!

[brianne sheppard]

Hmm there are a few... my 2 year old son accompanied me into La Senza (like victorias secret) and yelled out "boobies!"
excitedly.... my nephew matthew has also had some interesting moments, namely, my cousins gf is a bigger girl, and matthew asked her repeatedly (loudly! of course) when she was having her baby.

[Diane]

Oh my goodness, I am laughing so hard, I can't think well enough to remember what funny things my kids have said. These are hilarious! Thank you for sharing! Can I be entered anyway??? :)

[Nancy]

I have two, so you can count one for my mom (Diane) since she couldn't think of one. I was riding in the back of my grandpa's pick-up. My dad was in the front with Grandpa, and we were stuck in traffic. The window between the cab and the bed was open and I proceeded to stick my 5 year old head through and holler "We need to get the hell out of here." My Dad still wonders what his father in law thought of him.

This isn't so much embarrassing as funny. I teach the 3 and 4 year olds at church, and one Sunday we were discussing how each of us is a child of God. I went around and asked everyone if they were a child of God. Then I got to one particularly precocious little boy and asked "Are you a child of God?" He said "No." I proceeded to explain to him that yes he is. Then he burst into tears exclaiming "I don't want to be a child of God!"

[Kathi D]

This was my nephew as a 3-year-old, waiting for his baby sister to be born. My sister and nephew were in line at the grocery store and my blond-haired, blue-eyed nephew saw a black couple in the next line with an infant. He was very taken with this baby, and said in a loud 3-year-old voice to his red-haired blue-eyed mom, "Mommy, when our baby comes can she be all black and shiny like that?"

My sister said, "Well, honey, we would have had to plan ahead . . ."

[Margaret]

Congratulations! I'm so excited to see what your fabrics look like!

A dear friend of mine was at Sears or something, getting pictures taken of her 2-year-old daughter while she nursed her newborn son. Her daughter (helpfully) explained to the photographer that "J- is sucking the booby." The photographer: "I haven't heard that one before." (My friend's sister taught the little girl the word booby -- again, helpfully -- she put the rest together herself. Hooray for smart kids!)

[debra cooper]

Congratulations on your fabric line! I can't wait to get a peek at your designs. Here's my embarassing story and then just a favorite thing my son once said. First, we were in a restaurant and walked by and sat near a table where a lady sat wearing a (pink suede) eye patch. My son sat down backwards in his seat, eyes wide and locked on her before announcing loudly to the whole room in a most serious tone: "Momma, I saw a pirate!" Now, just a funny one: One day my son, then about 4, brought me a picture of our family when I was pregnant with his little sister. He asked me why his sister wasn't in the picture and I explained to him that she was there but was still in my tummy at the time. My explaination seemed to satisfy him and he promptly went over to his sister and told her what I had said. Afterwards, however, he returned to me with a very serious look on his face and asked, "Momma? Did you eat Maisey?" Thanks for the fun giveaway! ;-)

[Pamela Graham]

WOW....that is incredible and very impressive news!! Congrats to you!!! I can hardly wait --I love Asian fabrics!!!!

[flossyblossy]

HUGE congratulations - how exciting is THAT!!!!
Bummed....as would LOVE to take part but unfortunately haven't got anything to add. I don't have/can't have kids. I'm sure i'd have some corkers if my cats could speak though.. :-)

[Amber]

Love your artwork.
The best story is of my little brother walking into church, we all had to parade up to the front 'cause we were late. Unbeknownst to his 2 older sisters and mom and dad, he was wearing bright hologram shark swimming googles. Nothing was said....

[gkgirl]

my daughter was being babysat
by our neighbor,
who also looked after two little baby boys.

emma did not have a brother at the time.

when one of the boys was being changed,
emma asked the babysitter
why the baby had a knot in his bum?

:)

[Ang]

Aunt Gee I am so glad you are fat, you feel like a big pillow. said loudly in the library.
:)
Please add me to your giveaway.
Ang

[Melissa B]

Here it goes...hope it wins me some cards and something good comes out of this story.

so I had just had my 3rd baby and the grandparents were flying in to visit. First my parents came and stayed for a week or so and then a few days after they left, my in-laws were coming. When the in-laws pulled into our driveway, our 3 year old, Max, ran out to meet his grandparents. But when he saw that it was not my parents again, but the other set of grandparents, he yelled, (and right in their face)"oh no, these are the dumb ones!"

Good thing my in-laws have a good sense of humor!

[Jen Cozz]

Gorgeous cards! Ok, so at the ice cream parlor, I was paying while my girls (6&8 or so) went to find a table. While I was busy I heard them tell the heavyset lady in front of us that she was fat! In that elementaryish-just-observing-the-world around them innocent tone not meant to hurt anyone. Still, I was mortified!

[ED]

Happened to my brother:

On Friday a babysitter stayed with his two or three-year-old son, Lino. The babysitter ("Rachel" as my brother called her) was attractive and fun-Lino liked her very much. On Saturday, my brother needed another babysitter. Rachel was not available, so another girl (whom my brother described as "tender-eyed")came over. When "Leah" arrived, Lino looked crestfallen and hid behind his parents. Annoyed, my brother asked what was wrong. Finally, Lino peered around, pointed at the babysitter and said, "Her ugly."

[CarrieJ]

awesome news on the line!! Can't wait to see.
This is a personal one. It was a couple of years ago when my daughter was about 3. We were checking out at WalMart with a rather round sales lady when my daughter pipes up with-
"that lady ate ALL her dinner!"

[ingrid]

Congratulations on the new fabric line, what wonderful news!

My story was way back when my 17 year old was only a little boy of about three. As most three year olds are, he was very interested in anatomy. We were lined up in Target waiting to purchase a Barbie doll when he pipes up in his loudest voice with....Mummy, does Barbie come with a vagina?
The worst part was that when I told him no, he was crestfallen and wanted to go back to the aisle and find a doll that did come with one. There were many giggling onlookers to that doozy of a conversation.

[Samantha]

Beautiful cards! I can't wait to see the fabric!!! Now my story- about 2 years ago while on vacation with my dad and stepmom my then 4 year old son told them when he grows up he wants to have a hairy butt just like Mommy. They questioned him, asking, "don't you mean Daddy?" Little boy angrily said "NO! Like MOMMY!!!" They rolled on the floor laughing- and still do if we bring the story up. (BTW- I do NOT have a hairy butt.....not sure where that came from!)

[Margaret]

lol!

[Kelli, Memphis, TN]

Your paintings are so lovely.

When my daughter was around 3 years old we were in the public library. We were walking past the bank of computers which were filled to capacity with people when Mia exclaimed in a very loud voice,"Excuse me I POOTED!" We received quite a few stares.

[cheryl]

Congratulations! They will be gorgeous fabrics.

This one if from my nephew. He was 2 and still learning to speak in sentences. My sister-in-law was with him and our niece. Just as the door's started to close and J reached out to push the button (what two year old doesn't want to push the button?) a lady rushed on to the elevator and hit the button. J stamped his foot and said, "For F$%*'s sake!"

[Jill]

These are hilarious!

My five-year-old son during Kindergarten open house, upon hearing that he could bring in different objects for sharing, depending on what letter they were learning.

"Mommy, I know what I'm bringing for F week," he says with a smirk.
"What?"
"Your Fagina!" he shouts, quite proud of himself for getting a reaction.
"Hmmm" I said calmly, "I might be busy that day, so you'd better have a back-up."

[jen holmes]

We live in Albania, right, and Oliver's first word i car. In Albanian the word car is their slang word for male anatomy. We were siting in church one week and Oliver dropped his HotWheels and couldn't stop yealling a the top of his voice, "Car Car Car Car Car". We got some strange disaproving looks, some sympathy looks, and some giggles.